50. Am I done yet?

So, this could technically be my final blog post, and honestly, it probably will be with the full schedule I have coming up this week. I had never had a blog before this class, or ever really looked at any blogs, but this made me realize that blogging is a really good outlet for your thoughts and is actually really fun.

Going into this blog I didn't really think about what I wanted it to be like and I kind of wish I had thought to focus it on one topic of specific thing, but I liked being able to just write about whatever I was thinking about or going through.

Writing about my feelings and my days, although not the most thrilling topics for other people to read, really helped me feel more confident in myself.  I am really happy I got to use this blog assignment as an outlet for my thoughts and ideas and I will definitely consider starting a blog about something I love or something I do or really anything specific in the near future.

49. I miss Molly

I really miss my kitten Molly.  She was living at my boyfriends house all year and his landlord found her last week so we had to give her to his parents....it was very sad because although they were going to take her at the end of the year anyways, I was not ready to say goodbye.  She is so fun to snuggle with and even though she is a crazy bitch sometimes I still miss having her around.  Rainy days were always the best times with her because I would be inside all day and she would just chill and play and hangout with me.  Having a pet at school really made it feel like home and I really miss having her around.

48. Wind

I am a very easily distracted person and right now in the library the wind is whistling so loudly outside I can barely pay attention to my studying.  I am already struggling with my stat studying since I still literally know nothing....even after studying for the past 5 days so I really don't need all of these distractions.  I need a quiet study space to be able to hear my own thoughts.  I like to process things slowly and clearly when I do work which is why silence is key for me to focus.  Even though wind isn't necessarily distracting it shows how such small things can make such a big difference in the way you learn.

47. A Haiku for fun

I love chai coffee
I am drinking one right now
And am still tired

46. Semesters end

This year has gone by at lightning speed.  It feels like yesterday that the year had just begun and now...we only have one week of classes left.  I am happy for summer to begin, but I am not happy about being half way done with college.  I am also not happy about the year ending because my boyfriend is a senior and is moving to New York after graduation.  Which would be convenient if I were home because it is a quick 3 hour train ride from my house, but from Dallas.....it's not so close.  The end of this year has definitely stirred up a lot of emotions and stress so having some time to relax and clear my head is definitely something to look forward to for summer.

45. Procrastination

pro·cras·ti·na·tion

prəˌkrastəˈnāSH(ə)n/

noun

1. the action of delaying or postponing something.

   
   

   
   

   also known as, me, right now.

   
   

   I have been trying to learn stat for the past 4 hours and I kid you not....I have retained zero information.  I can't focus at all and I really, really need to.  I figured this would be a good break to put my mind at ease for a minute, because I would rather write for 6 hours straight than do one math problem for 10 minutes....math and I don't get along very well to say the least.  Trying to study this right now is actually unbelievably painful and almost unbearable, it makes me SO ANGRY when I don't know how to do the problems, which then just cycles over and over until I literally feel like I know nothing.

   
   

   So, on that note...I better go do some more studying.

44. Lightning

Sitting in Fondren library right now, procrastinating studying for my Stat test on Tuesday by writing blog posts...also distracted by the unreal lightning that is going on right now.  On the fourth floor there is a huge window that I'm sitting by and there is nothing blocking the view to all the buildings in down town.  The lightning keeps lighting up the entire sky and cracking down over all the buildings.

I have a weird obsession with lightning.  I love the way it looks in photographs and when it actually looks like that in real life.  I think it is a beautiful part of nature that I honestly do not understand at all but its beauty is so naturally and powerful.

From a distance the beauty is moving but up close would be terrifying.  I think that is something really cool about lightning; that something so beautiful can be so dangerous and destructive.